Speak Their Names
“My aunt used to live in Paris. I remember, she used to come home and she would tell us these stories about being abroad. I remember, she told us that she jumped into the river once, barefoot. She smiled, leapt without looking and tumbled into the Seine. The water was freezing, she spent a month sneezing, but said she would do it again.” The Audition, La La Land
I frequently speak about my grandma and aunts and uncles that have passed away to friends and people I come across. I bring them into conversations as if they were still with us, palpable and a phone call away. To me they are, maybe not a phone call away, but they are still very much present in my life. There are just too many memories that bind us together for them to be forgotten.
MY GRANDMA
My maternal grandmother was one of kind… truly. Her name was Maria Luisa. She was a humanitarian, an entrepreneur, a great provider to her family after becoming a widow at the young age of 39 and the most faithful person I’ve ever known. She always looked impeccable, her hair was done to perfection and her hands were always manicured and silky feeling. She always wore dresses and high heels and her purses always matched her outfit. She was a class act, I was always so proud of walking by her side and claiming her my own. She was the greatest storyteller and she had plenty of stories to tell since she lived a very full and meaningful life. My grandma used to have a very torn and old looking black and white framed picture of the suffering Jesus on her dresser. One day I was keeping her company as she was getting ready for bed and I asked her why she kept in such prominent place that old and dirty looking picture. She looked at me, smiled and said “I’ll tell you a story.” She told me that not long after her husband died in 1958, she was crossing a street on her way to a job interview (she had been a homemaker her entire married life and now she was on her own having to care and support six children) and it had been raining all day. She had many thoughts and worries going through her mind that particular day and for a moment she felt desperate. As she started to cross the street, water inundating the city streets, she looked down and this image (the one sitting on her dresser) was laying still on the ground, staring back at her, not going anywhere. She picked it up, patted it dry and put it in her pocket. She said she knew then that things were going to be ok and that she would not be alone on her new journey. I looked at that picture very differently from that moment on. As I type this now, I can see that picture looking back at me. Like this story, I have many others. My grandma was a sharer, a lover, a hugger, an enthusiast, a foodie and also a very stubborn woman. When she put her mind into something, she made it happen and in the best of ways. She was my biggest cheerleader and inspiration, I dream about her often and I feel her presence constant in my life. Grandma, I will forever love you!
My grandpa died in 1958 at the age of 44, my grandma kept this picture on her nightstand until the day she died in 2007
MY AUNTS AND UNCLES
My mom is one of six children and the only surviving sibling. She had two sisters and three brothers. I have so many memories of them and the many ways they impacted my life. My mom’s youngest sister, Patty, was the life of the party. A world traveler, a magnificent cook and a people’s person born with the biggest shinning star. You always noticed whenever she entered any room. She was breathtakingly beautiful and her personality was even bigger than her beauty. She was full of energy, loud, funny, huggable and she also had the biggest heart, she was always helping someone. I used to have many sleepovers at her house and we always had the best of times, we loved to laugh about just anything. I remember one time, this particular female singer we liked had just released an album and we decided that day that we would go buy her new released album and sit down and write all the lyrics and then have a karaoke party that evening. We had so many laughs that day I can still see her prancing through the house singing, dancing and laughing. She was awesome!
My favorite memories of my mom’s oldest sister Ana definitely have to be of my grown up years, after I got married. My uncle (her husband), was my dad’s best friend and my mom and my aunt developed a very strong and close bond. Every time I went home to visit my family in Mexico, my aunt always came on the first day of my arrival. She would walk in with sweets and treats, gave me a big and welcoming hug and would sit down at my mom’s kitchen table to chit chat and make us all laugh. The love she had for her grand kids especially, always inspired me. She was a big protector and a teaser, she was always playing some kind of prank on someone. My visits back home have never been the same since her passing, she definitely left a big void in our lives.
My mom’s three brothers were all so different in personality, but I loved them all the same. They were also all very handsome taking after my grandfather’s looks. My mom’s youngest brother was a bit quiet, but a big hugger and a lover by nature. One of my last favorite memories of him was the year before he passed away suddenly. We were sitting at the kitchen table at his house, talking and he was telling me a story about a “not so well cooked turkey” another family member had made for Christmas the year before. You see, my uncle Johny was not one of those “intentional” jokesters, but his stories always made me laugh for some reason, he just had a way about telling those stories. I don’t know why his turkey story had me laughing so hard that day, but my laughter caused him to laugh uncontrollably too that he had to excuse himself and come back to the table later. I wish I could still have those conversations with him and laugh and talk and be silly with each other. I miss him and his bear hugs a lot.
My mom’s middle brother, who was sandwiched with my mom between the other siblings had a heart of gold. My mom always said he had the heart of a child. He was always kind, sweet and just like me, he loved to eat! The last time I saw him during one of my visits to Mexico, he had stopped by my aunt’s house who had invited us over for dinner, and he ended up joining us for super. He carefully listened to all of my stories about my life in Chicago and I remember him asking me if I still missed home the same way as I did when I first got married. My uncle loved my grandma in a very special way and my grandmother was his protector. I always thought they had a very special and unique bond.
My mom’s oldest brother, Francisco was a character in all sense of the word! He was born an entertainer, he was an amazing artist and loved making people laugh, and boy, did he know how! I vividly remember one night at his house, with my aunt and cousins, it was game night, and a few of my aunts and uncles were there too. It was a beautiful summer night, the house was loud, everyone was talking, laughing and having a good time. He was very proud of his new old fashioned popcorn maker he had just gotten and kept making popcorn all night long. As the night developed, all of a sudden he took out a small comb, a piece of paper and started making music with it. All kinds of different songs and tunes and he would get up and dance and joke around. He had us all laughing so hard, I don’t think there was a dry eye in the room. I can almost still feel the energy of that night. That memory will stay with me forever.
MY AUNT AND UNCLE ON MY DAD’S SIDE
My parents uprooted us from my dad’s hometown when we were really young to move to my mom’s hometown, the capital of the state. I don’t have a lot of memories from my dad’s part of the family, we didn’t stay too close with them, but I do have amazing memories of my dad’s brother Roberto and his wife Lilia. I think the reason they made such an impact in my life was because my dad’s part of the family was always a lot more conservative and quiet, compared to my mom’s loud and vibrant family, but my uncle Roberto and Lilia were so different to the rest of his family and so unique. I remember them being very affectionate not only with each other but with every person they encountered. My uncle was a jokester, he had an amazing and soothing voice, I can still hear him call me “Lourditas!”, and my aunt was just the bubbliest and sweetest person I remember knowing in my childhood. They were both incredibly good looking also. Their house always screamed happiness and love and I loved being there. They always made me feel welcomed and I knew they really, really loved us and cared about us. Their oldest daughter, my cousin, was also my best childhood friend and I spent a lot of time at their house. The last time I saw them was when I was visiting my parents in Mexico about 17 years ago, and I remember the happiness I felt reuniting with them and hugging them.
I have many other family friends who are now gone from the physical world that have impacted my life in many positive ways with their zest for life, style and laughter and I am grateful for each and every one of them. I know they gave me all those memories so I could learn how to live without them. I carried them close to my heart every single day. ♥
Conversation at the end of the movie “An Unfinished Life”
Einar (Robert Redford): You think the dead really care about our lives?
Mitch (Morgan Freeman): Yeah, I think they do. I think they forgive us our sins. I even think it’s easy for them.
Einar: Griff said you had a dream about flying.
Mitch: Yeah. I got so high, Einar, I could see where the blue turns black. From up there, you could see all there is. And it looked like there was a reason for everything.
