Mother's Day Reflections
Have you ever seen the animated film “Inside Out”? If I had to describe my Mother’s Day this year in two words, I think “Inside Out” would be a suitable name.
Every year I struggle with Holidays and Mother’s Day is no exemption. I grew up in a revolving door type of household, every special day was celebrated in a BIG way. Lots of people, lots of food (ok, I still observe that) and lots of everything, I always loved that. On Mother’s Day especially, my heart aches in a different way longing for my mom. I am very fortunate to still have my mom’s physical presence in my life, but the 2,000 miles that separate us leave a constant void. I wish I could spend the day with her and hug her and love her and spoil her rotten, but phone calls and long distance gifts usually have to suffice.
However, I am blessed with a husband that makes sure I get treated like a queen on Mother’s Day and the days prior. He really makes an effort to go out of his way to make this holiday extra especial for me. I also love reading all the texts, social media posts and cards Michelle and Bella write and send me throughout the day, and now that they are old enough to go places on their own, I enjoy the treats and flowers I get from them. Yesterday, we all woke up early to go to church, it was important for me to worship as a family on that special day and to give thanks for the many blessings in my life as a mother and to pray for continued guidance, patience, strength and the wisdom to always have the right words and expressions of love for my girls. After church, I cooked -yes, I said it- sounds like an irreverent thing to do on such special day, right? Well, I love to cook and I love food even more and I was excited to make one of my favorite Mexican comfort foods and share it with two family friends that were joining us for Mother’s Day. I made carnitas and all it’s fixings including homemade salsa with roasted peppers and guacamole and let’s just say all the hard work paid off because everything was delicious!!!
After dinner, Michelle and I ventured out to see the movie “Tully” with Charlize Theron. Based on the previews I had seen, I thought the story would be packed with laughs and humor, but instead it presented the many real and raw realities of motherhood which are not always ongoing moments of laughter and humor. Motherhood is the most amazing and fulfilling life journey, but it can also be challenging at times. From an early age and sometimes way before we become mothers, we create this image in our minds about motherhood being this perfect fantasy that include only walks to the park; babies that nurse as if you were the queen of lactation; cooked from scratch meals on the table every night; homemade cupcakes that taste and look better than the ones from Cupcake Wars on the Food Network; bedtime stories worthy of being featured on Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood and oh yes, a perfectly clean and organized house that would make Martha Stewart jealous. You’ve heard that rewind tape sound effect before, right? Insert it here!
Yes, motherhood includes walks to the park, many walks to the park, sometimes even when we don’t feel like going because we are tired and have a long to do list. Nursing babies, which can be excruciating and exhausting at the beginning, but we paddle through because we know nursing has powerful health benefits for our babies and it helps develop a deeper bond between mom and baby. More take out meals than we desire at times because our busy lives and jobs only allow us to break open a bag of food at the end of a long day if we want to eat before the wolves start howling at the moon. House messes that you have to learn to ignore and teenage children that come with an array of needs, hormones and emotions that no book would ever prepare you for.
In my 20+ years of being a mom, I’ve learned that it’s okay to feel vulnerable, to feel tired, exhausted and broken at times. I have learned that my heart is capable of loving my children in ways I never knew could be possible I have also learned that it’s okay to ask for help, to bear open my soul to friends who I trust to offer support and words of encouragement when feeling a little spent. Being a mom is also learning to say “I’m sorry” when we’ve wrong our children and recognizing the need to take a step back to recharge so we can offer our better selves to them again. Motherhood is and will always be my greatest joy and source of inspiration.
Michelle included the following quote in her Mother’s Day Instagram post yesterday from Maya Angelou’s book, Mom, and Me and Mom and the essence of those words sealed all the emotions and vulnerability I felt all day, I ended the day with a joyful heart. “I will look after you and I will look after anybody you say needs to be looked after, any way you say. I am here. I brought my whole self to you. I am your mother.”
Wishing all the mamas out there a beautiful, wonderful Mother’s Day and endless blessings of love, strength and peace.
