To All The Moms And Dads I Have The Privilege Of Knowing, Thank You For Lifting Me Up And Helping Me Journey Through This Wonderful Neighborhood Of Parenting

“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” Maya Angelou

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately and maybe it’s because my girls have experienced hardship or maybe simply because I’ve had a lot of time in my hands these past few days to think about these things or maybe both... but the truth is, I really, really love and appreciate parents that wear their hearts on their sleeve when it comes to being open and honest about their lives as parents and the struggles they face with their own children. 

Of course there are things that are so private and so personal that it would be unfair to our own children to share with others, especially in situations when they’ve put their entire trust on us to help them navigate certain aspects of their lives, but how awesome it is to meet another parent that when you ask “how are you? How’s your family? How are your kids???” Instead of simply responding with “we are good... we are fine...” if we have the space and the time, we can say “they are doing ok, but you know what, _______ has struggled a bit lately with so and so, but we are helping him/her get through it and he/she will be fine.” Sometimes, serendipity moments like those can really make us connect with other humans and help us heal in return.

For me personally, I’ve found GREAT comfort when other parents aren’t afraid to be vulnerable when sharing their story about their own children, as much as they can and are willing to share of course.  I think we’d be kidding ourselves if we say that our children’s lives have been perfect.  Of course we want that for them, which parent doesn’t envision a perfect life for their children? We want nothing but pure bliss and happiness and good things for them, but life is not perfect, life has been known to put hurdles and obstacles in front of us, and the lives of our children, but life is all about facing challenges and celebrating victories with those we love and interact with. 

I will never forget a situation I encountered a few years ago when Bella was a Freshman in High School.  We were at some type of event at her school and as Stan and I were leaving the auditorium we bumped into another couple we’ve known for a few years.  Their oldest daughter is the same age as our oldest daughter and that day in particular, I was really, really struggling as a parent witnessing Michelle be so unhappy with her life, the school where she was and the direction (at the moment) her life was taking.  Those were some dark moments, for her, for me, for our entire family, moments I never want to revisit. 

I remember our encounter with this particular family so well, I can almost place myself in that moment and time, the clothes I was wearing, the closeness of our bodies when we were talking and most importantly how our conversation made me feel as soon as we left their presence. 

We said the proper hellos when we ran into each other and the mom proceeded to ask how our girls were.  Although I don’t remember the exact words I said, but it was something like “Bella is great, she’s enjoying HS so far, and Michelle is just ok, she’s struggling with school and life a little right now...”. The mom quickly went from “oh sorry... well, my ________ is thriving, she got into _______ (she named a University with a low acceptance rate) and then proceeded to tell me how big of a scholarship she had gotten due to her outstanding SAT and all the things she was involved in at school.”  I stood there listening, probably saying how wonderful that was and how happy I was for her, for all of them.  Yes, I was happy for her, but I was also aching heavily for my not so happy kid. 

We ought to be so sensitive when communicating with other parents, as we don’t know what struggles they are facing in their own lives. 

I think it’s SUPER important that we celebrate and rejoice about the victories and successes of the children of relatives and friends, but it’s almost as important, if not more important, to be there for each  other as we journey through parenting with all the highs and lows that life presents. 

Parenting is a lighter road to travel, when we do it together and we support each other with words of affirmation and our presence. We are all in this together, and we rise by helping others. ️❤