Arrived!
“Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are, give us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people.” Fred Rogers
I can still feel the warmth of the sun that late spring day when Michelle casually announced to Stan and I that she was looking for a new school. It was a Saturday afternoon and we were sipping fresh squeezed lemonade that Stan had made and knowing my family, probably snacking on something too. We were chatting and enjoying an afternoon out on the deck. Michelle was sitting across from me and in conversation I simply asked “what are you up to?” and she responded with “Actually…” and proceeded to inform us about her school search. I would be a big liar if I said that her announcement didn’t feel like I had just been punched in the stomach, after all, this was not our first rodeo with college searches. I took a deep breath, collected my glass of lemonade and if I remember correctly, I left the table and went inside the house. I know myself well enough and at that moment that is what I needed to do to let it all sink in and be the best person, the best mom that I could be. It wasn’t until the next day that I could openly have a conversation with her about it.
Michelle started her college journey two years ago at Carthage College in Wisconsin and although it was a lovely school surrounded by a beautiful arboretum on the shore of Lake Michigan, it wasn’t a school for her. Before the end of her first semester, we had visited Loyola and she immediately fell in love with it. She started her second semester of her Freshman year at a new school and a new degree. It all had started well, she loved the campus and her Professors, but I still sensed sadness in her days. She wasn’t thriving or excited about the direction her life was taking, enrolled in a program that she didn’t feel passionate about. I encouraged her, I listened, I tried to build her up, I silently cried, I prayed for her happiness more than ever before, but she needed to be the one to find her own path. Looking back, it all made sense.
After a long application process, more transcript records requested and letters of recommendations submitted, Michelle received an invitation to audition at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in New York City. We flew out to NYC beginning of June and then (im)patiently waited for a response. The acceptance phone call was followed by an official letter and it is safe to say that those were some of the most glorious days at our home this year. Michelle moved to her new school a week ago yesterday, and on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday she had orientation and auditions for placement. She is ecstatic about her classes, the friends she’s made so far, the city, and the program in general. Yesterday she told me that she has never been happier at a school, and for a mom that hasn’t seen her kid happy at school since the beginning of her Senior year in High School, this is beyond thrilling for all of us!!! My heart is literally bursting with her happiness and positive energy.
The school apartment where Michelle lives is right in the heart of Manhattan, in the best location possible if you are in New York City. The apartment has six bedrooms, three bathrooms, one large kitchen and a very roomy dining and living room area. At least four of the girls that live in the same apartment are international students. One girl traveled from Australia, one came from London, another girl from South Africa and on move-in day, I also met a Mexican born student who was doing a semester away in Canada and transferred to AADA from UNAM. Stan and I were there only for a brief moment on move-in day and the energy and excitement was contagious. Michelle fits right in!
Looking back, I only see blessings paving the road for Michelle’s journey during her first two years of college. During her first two years of college Michelle learned a lot of valuable life lessons. She learned to be courageous when her soul was tired, she remained determined when all she wanted to do was give up, she learned independence while living on her own, she was braver than I ever thought she could be, and most importantly she continued to BELIEVE in herself even in the most trying days and never gave up on her dreams.
During those two first years of college, she also made some amazing friendships that I am certain will last a lifetime. She had the sweetest roommates who became her away from home family and offered her a great support system. Looking back, there are no regrets at all… only great memories of hope, faith and love.
Parenting is not always a walk in the park, it has it’s many challenges too. If I have learned anything from this experience is that our children do not belong to us. Their dreams and their desires do not belong to us either. Our children are placed in our lives and trusted in our care to guide them, to protect them, to support them and to love them unconditionally, but never to determine their destiny.
Michelle, my courageous and strong child. You were assigned a mountain to show others that it could be moved… keep pushing, keep persevering, keep working hard and keep being the wonderful, beautiful you. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you… go outshine the morning sun, I know that you are ready!!! We love you and we are incredibly proud of you!
