An Ongoing Journey of Love
“I hope you never lose your sense of wonder, you get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger, may you never take one single breath for granted, God forbid love ever leave you empty handed. I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean, whenever one door closes I hope one more opens. Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance… I hope you dance. I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance, never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin', lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'. Don't let some hellbent heart leave you bitter, when you come close to sellin' out, reconsider, give the heavens above more than just a passing glance, and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, dance…”
I can still feel the softness of her skin rubbing against mine that cold January morning twenty one years ago. Michelle was born exactly at 8:49 a.m. after sixteen hours of labor. I was exhausted but at the same time elated for this new life that had just been entrusted in our care. A sweet, beautiful baby girl with pinkish velvety skin and long delicate fingers. I thought she was perfect in every way.
I remember feeling every emotion possible the day we came home from the hospital. I felt immense joy, and at the same time fear. I didn’t quite know how to care for a brand new baby. We took lamaze classes, watched every video I could put my hands on and read every book possible about how to care for an infant baby, but no manual or class could ever prepare you for one of the biggest responsibilities of your life like the one of becoming a new parent.
Not long after we came home, I had become an expert in the art of diaper changing, burping, bathing and comforting and I felt very proud about all those accomplishments, but the biggest tasks were ahead of me. On most days I prayed that I was doing all the right things and making all the right decisions for her.
Stan and I celebrated every milestone as if 1,000 trees had been planted in her honor in order to save the planet. I prayed and hoped that I was doing all the rights things to lead by example, to teach valuable lessons at the right moment, to demand enough but not to the point of being a burden, to make sure she felt cared for, accepted, understood, appreciated and immensely loved.
Her disappointments have made me cry behind closed doors and her successes have made me jump for joy. If I could, I would smooth every road ahead of her, make sure that nothing and nobody disturbs her peace and that life provides nothing but joyful moments, but we know that’s not the way life works; but my hope is that all my love and prayers continue to carry her and lift her up in her journey through life.
Michelle was born with a unique way of looking at life. I admire especially the integrity in which she lives and the tenacity for following her dreams. She is one of the most free spirited individuals I have the privilege of knowing and how awesome that I get to call her my daughter. She is never afraid of standing up for what she believes in, for speaking up for those who need her on their side and above all, for staying firm to her convictions no matter what the rest of the world thinks. We’ve had our share of disagreements, but there has never been a day I haven’t been proud of her.
I never thought the day would come when I would say “my daughter is my best friend”, because I always thought parents aren’t suppose to become best friends; parents are supposed to love, and care and comfort but always with a sense of parenting. I am sure that will stay true for years to come, but the day did come when without realizing it, I found myself seeking her guidance, her wisdom, her love and her support when I needed a best friend and a confidant to talk to and that gives me immense joy.
Happy 21st birthday to my one of a kind girl!
Michelle, keep standing tall, keep being YOU, loving the world around you and always speaking your truth. I love you more than you will ever know, thanks for teaching me about life and for loving me as I am. May this birthday be the beginning of great things to come and a reminder of all the blessings you have in your life. I love you and I am incredibly proud of you! Keep shining! ❤
