Leading By Example

What year was the most significant year of my childhood?  I’ve asked myself that question many times.  I don’t know why.  My 12th birthday and year always stands out.  I had elaborate themed birthday parties as a child, and it’s fair to say that I had a pretty awesome childhood despite a few bumps in the road.  But being twelve years old has always been significant for me.  I’ve thought about this for a long time now.  Why being twelve?  Why was that year special?  I could never make too much sense of it until I recently found out that 1984 was the year that my first cousin Jorge, who I deeply admired growing up had falling gravely ill.  He was so interesting in many ways.  He was five years older than me, and his sister Claudia was my best friend and companion growing up.  We did a lot together.  We went to parties, hung out at different social events, and my cousin Jorge, her brother, would often drive us places.  I always felt special when we would arrive at a party and people knew he was dropping us off, I was “Jorge’s cousin!”

Jorge is front and center in this picture

When Jorge was just three months shy of his 18th birthday, he contracted a life threatening virus.  Guillain-Barre was the diagnosis.  A rare and serious syndrome that attacks the autoimmune system, resulting in irreversible nerve damage.

I remember visiting Jorge at a private hospital in Mexico.  He was only seventeen years old.  The tall, handsome young man I so deeply admired, now looked so helpless and so sick laying on a hospital bed.  Twelve year old me was frozen at that image.  A picture I will never be able to erase from my memory, I felt broken that day.  I can still remember what I was wearing, and the coolness of the hospital hallway as we were leaving to go home.

After many days and nights at the hospital Jorge kept getting sicker and sicker.  Soon enough, my aunt and uncle had made the decision to have him airlifted to a hospital in Arizona where he would spend months fighting for his life, intubated and having set back after set back.  My family and I visited him in that hospital too.  Thankfully by Spring time, he was discharged from the hospital and able to go home.  The strong, vibrant and carefree 17 year old boy that entered the hospital on a September day in 1984, was now a paralyzed, thin, weak and dependent 18 year old.  My cousin was never able to regain the mobility in his legs again.  For months he had to be fed, helped to do the basic human needs we so often take for granted.  Eventually after months and years of physical therapy, he was able to have some movement in his hands and then movement in part of his arms.

But why am I writing about him?  Because he is a very special and admirable human being.  Jorge embraced his new life in the most exceptional way.  He welcomed his new challenges with grace, dignity and bravery.  He witnessed his High School friends graduate the year he came home from the hospital, but from a wheel chair; yet, he cheered for them.  He worked hard at getting stronger, and went on with his life, setting new challenges and goals for himself every time. 

The first few years after his release from the hospital, were very trying years for him and his family.  My aunt, my mom’s sister, devoted his life to help him in every way possible.  She became his guardian angel, the two of them were inseparable.  She advocated for him day in and day out, spent her life doing research on new treatments and doctors.  She made sure he had all the opportunities and chances at getting better and stronger.  Nothing stopped her, she too was admirable.

Later on in life, he dated a beautiful girl who he later married, named Mary.  I had the privilege of being a bridesmaid at that wedding and I will never forget the day he was wheeled into the church wearing a tuxedo to say his I do’s.  It was a very special day for all of us.  A life we almost saw taken away was now making a grand entrance at church, starting a new chapter in his life.  A life of love, acceptance and miracles.  Mary and Jorge welcomed two beautiful children, who look so much like him.  One is now a young adult and the youngest son is a teenager. 

Despite his physical challenges, my cousin Jorge learned to drive a car (adapted), started his own business with the help of his wife and continues to live a full and productive life to this day.

Three years ago, I visited my ill brother at the hospital in Mexico.  Jorge was one of the first people I saw at the hospital with my parents offering us support.  He has a gift of smiling at life even in the midst of uncertainty and the gift of being there for others.  There has never been a day when I haven’t seen him smiling, laughing, positive and joyful about life.  I’m sure he’s had his moments -I hope he has- it’s only human, but the character he shows to those who love him, is one of courage and determination.

Jorge has taught me so much about life, and I know he has taught important life lessons to those who have the privilege of knowing him as well.  His physical limitations have never gotten in the way of his happiness and positive attitude, but rather, they’ve been the force behind the way he lives his life.

His story book has many chapters.  A lot of those chapters are filled with great challenges, but every chapter has a joyful sound of positivity, strength and courage.  Thank you Jorge, for teaching me, for teaching us, great lessons about the way we walk through life.  I will forever be thankful. ♥