The Immeasurable Love Of A Mother
“Mom, I know you are tired after working all day, but do you think we can talk when you get home from work about something that is bothering me?”
Well, let me just say that those are exactly the words that take ALL my exhaustion away and make me want to leave work immediately to find out what is causing my children sadness, anxiety or any type of concern.
Last week was long and tiring for me. I worked very long hours after starting a new part time job on top of my full time job. I love my full time job and I am quickly falling in love with my new part time job. They both bring me a similar but different type of joy and willingness to minister and be present to people. But after long hours and the normal and natural stress of adjusting to a new schedule and responsibilities, all I wanted to do was come home every night, put on my pajamas and quickly go to sleep after having something to eat.
The couple of texts I received from both of my children (one out of state at school and the other one at home) when I got in the car to go home on Sunday, were not exactly the cherry on top to my week.
One was dealing with personal issues and sadness and just needed her mom. The other child was experiencing anxiety over some decision making and friendships. I texted back and forth for quite some time with my oldest daughter and offered moral support and a new and fresh perspective on life and calmed her concerns. The High Schooler at home, well, we talked, and we talked and we talked for a long time after I got home. She cried, I cried and we made a mess out of ourselves pouring out our emotions. I cried because it hurts to see them hurt and also because I am extremely proud of their integrity and the amazing human beings they are becoming. I won the kid lottery!
Being a mom is amazing. Being a mom is fulfilling. Being a mom is rewarding. Being a mom is exhausting and is also extremely HARD sometimes!
We want to protect our children from anything and anyone that could possibly harm them and cause them sadness, anxiety or anything that disturbs their peace, but unfortunately that is not how life works. Our responsibility is to guide them, to protect them as much as we can (yes) and to show them a way and wisdom on how to seek clarity for the many questions and obstacles they will face in life. Disappointments will be unavoidable. I am nearing five decades of life and I still face them regularly, it’s just part of life.
However, what I have very clear is that, for as long as I am living, I will be the bear that shields them from any harm as long as I am able to. I will be the elephant that gets loose stampede style to protect them from whatever and whomever brings them sadness. The monkey that will resource to anything to make them laugh when they are having a bad day. And the eagle that spreads out it’s wings to calmly stop the rainy days from taking their smiles away.
Maya Angelou once said “I do my best because I’m counting on you counting on me.”
As I told my oldest daughter the night we talked… I will not live forever (as much as I’d like to 😉 ) but rest assure that for as long as I live, you will always count on me. ❤
