The Fundamentals of Self Care
“Self-care is never a selfish act - it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.” Parker Palmer
A few weeks ago I made plans to visit my family in Mexico but the universe had a different plan for me and I couldn’t go. Stan suggested I take the weekend to myself and do nothing else other than relax. How lucky am I to have a partner who is wiling to take on all the weekend responsibilities so I can take care of me! Well, I took his suggestion very seriously and that’s what I did all weekend… NOTHING!!! And it was AMAZING!!! See all those exclamations points? That’s how “epic” this weekend was. 😉
Since I had already requested time off at work for my trip, I decided to at least take ½ of one of those days off, and that day was today, Monday. It was a perfect way to end my well deserved and relaxing weekend.
The moment I walked in from work on Friday and my pajamas went on, I stayed in them all weekend long and only moved from the couch, to the kitchen to my bed for naps. I know, it sounds lazy, but believe me, I NEEDED that laziness. Work hard, play hard, and in my case, rest hard.
I watched five movies, read a few chapters of a book, took a nap on Saturday and Sunday, and slept in on Monday morning… ahhhhhh,it was delightful and I miss it already!
I did cook however a couple of times because cooking motivates me and I love tasty and delicious food, so for me, spending time in the kitchen is never a burden. Except when it comes to putting dishes away, that I don’t enjoy.
I remember I used to feel guilty when my girls were little and I would sit down for a seconds to rest. I didn’t want them thinking that I was being lazy or not engaging in their lives, so whenever they were around, which was almost always, I moved and cleaned and played and cooked and did whatever it was to stay active. Things have changed a lot since then and now my take on self care is completely different. I want them to know that I am a human being capable of feeling all the emotions and exhaustion is one of those feelings. It’s extremely important for me to take care of myself so I can be fully present for them. Of course, it helps that my kids are grown now and they don’t need me for everything 100% of the time, it’s not that easy to do when they are little and require so much attention, but still not impossible either.
When the girls were younger, Stan and I use to take turns on occasion to have a day “off” from our mom and dad responsibilities. On a nice, sunny day, Stan would take the girls out to explore the town and do something fun with them while I stayed home doing whatever I wanted to do without the constant “mom, mom, mom…” and vice versa. We didn’t do this too often, but the few times we did, it always felt like magic.
Self care is SO important! Self care is never selfish. Self care is about taking care of our needs, our minds and our souls so we can be fully present for those we love. If we don’t take care of our tired bodies and minds, how can we offer the best version of ourselves to our families? Impossible!
This weekend I also had the opportunity to reconnect with some friends, chat about our lives and make some plans without the constant rush of “sorry, I only have five minutes to talk, I’ll call you later”, and it was great. I also talked to my mom a few times this weekend while she celebrated her 72nd birthday on Saturday. She was so happy and so grateful for all the birthday wishes and family and friends that showed her love.
I think I was even thankful that the weather was not at all that perfect and the sun wasn’t shinning, because it almost forced me to stay in and enjoy my time at home and my doing nothingness.
Here are some of my favorite self care ideas:
1) Buy a new book. The smell and crispiness of a brand new book will always make me feel like a kid at a candy store.
2) Watch a movie I’ve never seen before.
3) Call a friend to chat.
4) Take a nap.
5) Go on a walk (weather permitting)
6) Give myself a facial.
7) Get take out.
8) Light a candle and place it on a counter or table nearby.
9) Write a “I am grateful for…” letter to myself.
10) Plan a vacation! Even if I don’t “book” a vacation, planning it makes me forget about the present and transport myself to a happy place.
This past weekend I did almost all of them, except for #5 and #7! Unless taking my ‘Yoga for Beginners’ book out to attempt my first yoga session counts as a form of exercise. I can’t say I didn’t try… I’m a work in progress, what can I say!
Living a healthy life is more than just taking your vitamins, eating healthy food and exercising. It’s also about surrounding ourselves with people that brings joy and positive energy into our lives and making the time to rest, make plans for our lives and allowing ourselves to dream. ❤
