The Day I Decided To Throw Myself A Pity Party

Focusing on the good has always helped me overcome obstacles, but sometimes life gets a little hard and tears help me heal my wounds.

Last week seemed to be a particularly tough week for us, for all of us at home actually. It was one of those weeks when a lot seemed to be going the opposite direction of my comfort zone. Both of my daughters were experiencing hurts and uncertainty, something I don’t deal with well. I had to miss my youngest daughter’s information night at her High School and I didn’t get to see her get ready for the first Football game of the season. This might not sound like a anything extravagant or particularly important, but in my heart, it was two “lasts” I didn’t get to be part of because I had to work those days. Then the Holiday weekend came and every social media platform was inundated with joyful moments celebrated with family and friends and I had none of that. I love being part of the social media community and seeing all the fun things people are doing and excursions they are taking, but sometimes it can be a little overwhelming for me.

I found myself in the bathroom getting ready for bed on Friday night after a very long work day and then out of nowhere I lost it. All those emotions that had been piling up day after day during the week, had all just been too much to handle and they had to come out somehow… those emotions chose my eyes in the form of ugly crying, that’s right! I can’t say that my crying made me proud, but my tears reminded me that I am made of flesh and capable of experiencing pain, hurts and also love and redemption.

Then Saturday rolled around and I woke up early to start my work day and I found out about the sudden death of a dear friend. It was in that moment that ALL the hurts and uncertainties I had been experiencing the days prior, disappeared and in the most humbling of ways my life was put into perspective.

The passing of my friend, a woman who lived her life in the most joyful and colorful of ways, centered me into who I am as a person as well. It was in that moment that I decided to make an unconditional relationship with myself, to embrace all my hurts and pain, to allow myself to be vulnerable but also to rejoice and be thankful for all the amazing people that share their life with me and for all the ordinary and extraordinary moments that I am blessed with daily.

I am a very joyful person by nature and joy will always be my goal. Our life is an ongoing journey, we are always learning, changing, transitioning, growing up and where I am at this moment in time, it’s exactly where I am supposed to be, and I embrace that with all of my heart.

Emotional tears that heal the heart? I think I’m ok with that! 😉

Wherever you are, whoever you are… I wish you joy, and peace and love. ❤